Field note
Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Battle of Culloden — Part 5: The Battle That Never Was
A sorceress, an army of the dead, and a choice that will take Brian beyond time itself. This is where the story ends — and where a new one begins.
"So, Bonnie Prince Charlie wasn't a complete idiot then?" I fidgeted, swirling the last of another pint.
"No, he was not," Hamish replied. "He can't have been an idiot to have won the battles he did before Culloden. Sadly, Culloden was the end of the line — out of resources, out of support, struggling for morale. He made the right decision. Abandon the battle, and hope to return another day."
Chris laughed. "I'm getting another round. The story is good, but I'm not getting caught up in a debate about historical reality. Time-travelling motorcyclists, a stoned government army, magically enhanced motorbikes, a sorceress sending letters from the King of France..." He stood up. "Same again, yes?" He headed to the bar without waiting for an answer.
When he came back, Hamish's chair was empty — he'd had the same idea. Chris and I sat quietly for a moment.
"One thing that's a good point," Chris said, taking a long drink. "People don't rally behind leaders who aren't inspiring. If Bonnie Prince Charlie had been the fool history makes him out to be, he couldn't have done what he actually did."
I agreed. "He escaped Culloden too — not just escaped, he evaded them for months before he finally got passage to France. You'd have thought, with the outcome so one-sided, they'd have caught him easily. But they didn't."
With that, Hamish reappeared and settled back into his seat. "I think we're nearing the home straight. Are you ready to find out what happens?"
Prince Charles stared at Kate for a long moment. Then his expression shifted — and he burst out laughing. A real laugh, deep and unguarded. He strode across to her and took her hand.
"I thought you might have a hand in this affair," he said, turning to his men with a reassuring gesture. "Trust me — there is no fear needed here." He surveyed Kate — even in the practical clothes she'd swapped her gown for, she was undeniably herself, and the hat, as ever, was completely impractical and the most magnificent thing in any landscape. "It had your fingerprints all over it. And to send it with this strange-looking fellow — well, I couldn't very well ignore it. Come on then. Tell me what your grand plan is."
Kate curtsied. "Your Highness, this tale was headed for disaster and much unnecessary death of a people I love. I could not let it end with you in several pieces, so I intervened." She turned to Brian. "And you have done a superb job. Without you, these men would be dead tomorrow."
"I'm not really sure what I did," Brian said.
"You did a great deal. But now — quickly. There is one last thing needed here." She looked out across the open moor. "I apologise, Charles. This must look like a defeat tomorrow. The Government army will arrive expecting a battlefield — and they need to find one. Otherwise they will hunt you to the ends of the earth, and you will see no peace in your lifetime."
"I've raised the dead from the Klava Cairns," she continued. "Those who have already passed — more than enough for this battlefield. I've changed them so they can be mistaken for your army. The Government will be able to tell their story of victory here. This tale will be told for generations, igniting something fierce and proud in its people. You won't be here to see it — but you will live. And you will know happiness."
Brian couldn't help himself. "Your Highness — what you're witnessing here is one of the earliest recorded instances of what, in my time, we'd call gaslighting."
Kate burst into delighted laughter. "Oh, no, Brian — not the first! This is my thing. I re-arrange the past to bring the great stories to the history books."
As the morning mists began to thin, the undead army came into full view across the moor. They were dressed in highland garb. Their faces held no expression and they didn't miss a single step. Moving as one, they drew swords from scabbards and loaded their weapons. Then, upon reaching the battlefield, they turned on each other — and a silent, magnificent, entirely false battle unfolded across Culloden for the benefit of any historian who might one day come to look.
It was over as quickly as it had begun. They fell where they were meant to fall. The legend was written.
"Charles — go west now," Kate said. "Hurry. Keep these men safe. Use the gold to buy your freedom, to survive. Make sure this story never dies." She paused. "It has been a pleasure, as always."
The Bonnie Prince and his men rode for the horizon without looking back. Brian watched them go.
He was alone with Kate, in a field that would soon be one of the most famous battlefields in Scotland — except that no one who had just fallen there had ever been alive.
"Is any of this real?" he asked.
She looked at him — the mischief quieter now. Something else in its place. "The world is full of magic. Very few get to see it. That is my calling — to travel through time and nudge history towards the story it was always meant to tell." She tilted her head. "Sometimes I fail. Today, I think things have worked out as intended."
"What do I do now?" he asked. "Do you send me home? How does anyone live after living this?"
Her wry smile returned. "You have a choice. I can return you to your time, and you'll go home and live your life. Though I'll admit, I'm not sorry, not one bit." She paused. "I hope you might make another choice."
Brian looked at his motorbike. He looked at Kate.
He had known, from the moment that hat had hit his face on a wet road in Inverness, that something about this woman was going to be an adventure for every remaining day of his life.
He walked to his bike and straddled it. "Well, mysterious lady in the magnificent hat — before I take you anywhere, I should know your name."
She glided onto the pillion seat and leaned in close, her arms encircling him. "You can call me Kate."
"Then you'd better hold on, Kate. And tell me where we're going."
He hit the ignition. They flew towards the horizon together — like angels, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of blue butterflies.
Chris and I were smiling the full breadth of our faces. There may have been a tear in my eye.
"They stayed together? Brian and Kate?" I clasped my hands.
"Indeed, they did, lass." Hamish finished his drink, content at his telling. "I'd imagine the pair of them have had nothing but extraordinary adventures. The mysterious lady in the magnificent hat, finding new parts of history that need mending — and Brian carrying her there like two fireflies racing the wind."
Chris reached out and shook Hamish's hand. "Thank you. Genuinely. That was wonderful."
"Only one thing," Hamish said, rising from the table. "Keep the magic in your hearts. Believe that all things are not quite as they seem." He smiled. "Maybe one day, you'll be lucky enough to find yourselves part of one of their adventures. This story is yours now. Find the special people you'd share it with."
He walked towards the door.
We turned to wave him goodbye through the window.
But Hamish had already disappeared.